I applaud the government program to screen everyone in its health care system for bowel cancer. My first thoughts though... cancer - they give you toxic chemicals and cut things out of you, and it's still a long, painful death. Why bother? Once detected, why not just die quickly and avoid the prolonged suffering? And so my first question: "Is it curable?!" And the version of that question more people probably ask: "Should I bother doing this test??"
Unfortunately, NONE of the twenty-one items included in this thoughtful government-funded package answered that question quickly and concisely. I opened it immediately to see what it was, followed by a "Oh yeah. They sent a letter saying they were going to send this." So you might say that's twenty-three items, because I'm counting envelopes and postage as an expense. So I let it sit for about a week because I'm not that enthusiastic about trying to catch feces and put it into small tubes.
Finally, after about a week, I started sorting through the twenty-one items included in the package, looking for the directions, the crucial items, AND the answer to my question: "Why bother?!" I don't recall the cover letter really giving me much motivation - I did actually read it and couldn't tell you what it said. As I'm flipping through the material, I'm thinking maybe the little booklet has the answer - yes, the little booklet I was going to read some day. And because I'm familiar with large volumes of verbiage, I looked in the index of the booklet and there it was; EIGHTH item in the table of contents: Can bowel cancer be cured? I have to flip to page five to find the answer. And there it is - not in bold font - on front of the package exclaiming "WHY YOU SHOULD BOTHER!" but three quarters down the page in text that blends with everything else that basically reads "blah, blah, blah":
Bowel cancer is one of the most curable types of cancers if found early. That is why completing the free screening test sent to you is so important.
Oh. Why didn't you tell me that? I might have done the test right away, and someone else might have actually done the test, rather than leaving it on their counter for a year or so, thinking "Too much trouble. Why bother?"
